Lights Will Guide You Home
by ATLReview
Summary: LWGYH is a series about how everyone views the relationship of Kendall and Logan, and how our favorite group of kids grows up and handles life. Spans from the time the boys are little and until they reach adulthood and have kids of their own.
1. To My Surprise, And My Delight

_A/N: Hey Everyone! So if you are reading this and you are thinking it sounds really familiar and you think you have read it before... it's because you might have lol. Basically I have this series called "Lights Will Guide You Home" and no one was really reading the of interludes. So I'm revamping it and posting all of them in one story. This way readers will know exactly the order of everything, and all of the posts will be in one easy to locate story._

_So without further a do I present to you "To My Surprise, And My Delight" The first Katie interlude._

_Enjoy!_

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><p>It takes you far too long to realize what has been staring you right in the face. Your Katie Knight and stuff like this does not go unnoticed by you. You hate yourself for not picking up on your brother's relationship with his best friend sooner.<p>

It's a normal Sunday afternoon, you're just relaxing inside before you have to help your mom go to the grocery store, when you hear the front door slam open and then one of the bedroom doors also bang open and close. Your going to go check on who it is, but before you get the chance to open your door, you hear another pair of feet come running into the apartment. The person tries to catch their breath and you know that something good is about to happen, so you slowly put your ear up against the door, in hopes of hearing everything.

When the sound of your brother's voice begins to apologize and beg for Logan's forgiveness you just think your brother went a little to far with the pranks again. No big Logan will get over it, he always does. When it goes a couple of minutes and you don't hear Logan say anything back, you think that whatever your brother did really hurt his feelings, but you bet it was a funny prank and you're kind of sad you missed it.

"Logan I … It's not what … y..you know I love you. Jo..Jo just had a bad day, I was just giving her a hug."

You're pretty sure your heart stops in that second, you think maybe you heard it wrong, that this is something else. Anything else, but really you know it's true. How can it not be? It's Logan and Kendall you're talking about here.

"Ken that's what you always say, there is always some kind of excuse. I get that you're not ready to tell the family, I get that, and I really do. However I have a problem with you fucking me and then no less then two hours later hugging and cuddling your ex-girlfriend"

Well you're sure in that moment that the world has stopped spinning. However you also have to hold yourself back from running out there and telling your brother off for being so stupid and hurting Logan like that.

"Logie…please you know I'm telling the truth. Jo walked into the lobby in tears, her show is going on hiatus and might be canceled. Something about it losing big time in the ratings to Glee"

"Good I hope that bitch's show gets canceled and she has to go back to South Carolina and of course her show is losing to Glee, because Glee is a good show, her show is just shit."

You have to hold back your laugh, because pissed off Logan is so much better then normal Logan.

"Come on babe you know you don't believe that, Jo is our friend."

"Yeah a friend who can't seem to keep her hands off my boyfriend."

"Logie, come on she doesn't even know we're going out, no one knows we are going out."

"And whose fault is that! Huh Kendall?"

" _Don't yell at me for that Logan you're the one who said it was ok and that you understood!"_

You're taken back; sure you've heard Kendall yell pretty good sometimes, but never ever at Logan.

"Just go away Kendall."

"But Logie."

"Please Kendall, just give me some space."

You hear Kendall mutter a small sorry and shuffle down the hallway. You can almost imagine what he looks like. His shoulders slumped over and his head hanging low, and his hands stuffed into his pockets. You wait until you hear the front door open and close, before you open your door and make your way over to Logan and James' room. You hear Logan crying before you even get all the way to the door.

It's not the crying that Camille does when she is rehearsing, or the one James does when he is out of hair gel. It's the one that you remember from your mom when you were five and your dad left. You don't remember much from back then, but you remember the crying, you remember the crying more then anything.

You're not sure what to do. You think you should run after Kendall, or go get your mom; and she would know what to do. She is the one that can handle crying, you can't handle it. It's the reason why you never finish The Notebook or Titanic.

You reach in your pocket and pull out the master key you made to all the rooms before opening up the door. You take in a sharp breath at the sight of Logan rocking back and forth on his bed. When he looks up at you, you're pretty sure that your heart breaks. His eyes are bloodshot and he looks like he has been crying for hours, not just a few minutes.

Before he can say anything you make your way over to him and just hug him. He doesn't over analyze it and ask a million questions. He just cries as you hold him. You can't help but think how wrong this situation is. Your brother should be the one seating with you as you cry over a boy, you should not be seating with your brother's crying boyfriend. You just shake the thought away, because when have you ever been normal?

You just seat with Logan until you realize that he fall asleep; slowly you remove yourself from the room, making sure to close the door behind you. Not two minutes later does Carlos and James burst into the apartment with your mother right behind them, each of them with bags full of food. You're about to ask where Kendall is when he appears with a 3 boxes of pizza.

You wanna ask him what is going on, but you know you can't. Kendall can't handle people knowing about him and Logan right now and if you just grilled him on why he is being such a fuck up, your pretty sure you are only going to make it worse.

However that does not mean you can't ignore him for the rest of the night. Sure you can't yell at him, but you're still pretty pissed off at him for hurting your other brother like that.

You're all halfway through dinner when your mom finally asks where Logan is. Before you get a chance to say anything Kendall says something about him not feeling well. Everyone seems to believe him. You on the other hand can't help but notice that Kendall looks down the hallway toward Logan's room every time he thinks that no one is watching.

You can't help but be angry with yourself. How could you have missed this huge secret that was right under your nose. You pride yourself on being able to get dirt on everyone. For example you know that last year Carlos wet his bed the night after he watched Paranormal Activity.

You try not to think about the fact that Logan does not get up for the rest of the night. James says he is a little worried about him before they all gather around to watch the weekly Sunday night movie. Kendall just says that they ate a hotdog earlier it probably did not agree with him.

You notice that Kendall can't go more then a minute without checking his phone. You're pretty sure that it's Logan he is trying to reach. The look on his face tells you that Logan still has not talked to him yet.

You've almost forgotten about the whole thing by the time you're getting ready for bed. That is until you notice Kendall pause and look at the door to Logan and James' room before sighing and continuing to his own.

Yeah you believe in God and everything, but you don't really pry that much. However, right before you fall asleep you send up a small one, asking for Logan and Kendall to make up, because if there were one thing that you would pry for, it would be your brother and Logan. But then again that's not saying that much, because you would do anything for those two

When you wake up the next morning you realize two things. The first is that your mother is gone; you roll your eyes and just laugh at the fact that your mom was not joking when she said that she was going to join that running photography club.

The second thing you notice is that you don't smell any breakfast. Logan always made breakfast during the week. You sigh knowing that your prayer went unanswered.

Getting up, you slowly make your way into the living room to see James and Carlos on the couch eating some cereal and laughing at an old episode of SpongeBob. You turn to see your brother leaning up against the counter with a bowl in his hands. You don't have to even look at what's inside it; you already know its oatmeal. Your brother always makes oatmeal when he is upset.

The words are out of your mouth before you even have a chance to stop them.

"Logan still sick?"

Kendall's head snaps up to look at you. You're pretty sure that you've never felt your heart break so many times in the two days before. A man who looks utterly defeated now replaces the sight of your normally confident brother. Since you only learned of your brother's relationship the day before, you can't be too sure, but you think that this fight is different than any other one they've had before.

You overhear James say something about Logan saying he still didn't feel well, and that he was going to miss school today. Kendall just dumps the rest of his food in the sink before returning back to his room to get ready, Carlos and James soon follow suit.

Logan never misses school; in fact you can't remember a single time when Logan ever took a day off from learning. You know something is seriously wrong now.

When the boys come back out and tell you to keep an eye on Logan, you can't help but notice that Kendall looks at you like he wants to tell you everything, and you really want him to. However he just tells you that they will be back by the time you have to leave for school.

You can't help but feel as of you came in at the end of a sad movie. You hope that it's not true and that this has a happy ending, but when you remember that look on Logan's face you want to cry.

Thinking about Logan and your brother breaking up makes you sick. You've been aware of this relationship for less then 24 hours, yet the very idea of it ending makes you want to lose it.

You can picture their whole life. You see them in a small apartment in college, as Kendall shouts at the television while watching a hockey game. You see Logan in the kitchen watching the game, while also studying. The two of them walking to class hand in hand, just completely ignoring everyone else that is not in their own little world.

You see the two of them getting married in Hawaii on a beautiful beach at sunset, because it's Logan and Kendall where else would they get married? You see James and you standing by Kendall, while Carlos and Camille stand by Logan. You see your mother and Logan's mom in tears in the front row. Yeah Kendall will say that he does not care who all is there, but you and Logan both know that he wants as many friends and family members there as possible.

You see the whole white picket fence, and two dogs and a cat and a couple of kids. You're pretty sure that you would give them a damn kid if you have to, because what wouldn't you do for them?

You notice that you feel something wet drip on your hands. You look down and see sure enough a bunch of water drops on your hands. You bring your hand up and sure enough. Kendall and Logan have made you cry. You wanna punch the both of them for it, but you know that you won't.

You get up and shakily make your way to Logan's room, you are happy to find the door unlocked. With a twist of the knob you are looking the same awful picture that is Logan. He is still crying, but maybe not has hard as he had been the night before. Again you just walk over to him and sit with him and try and comfort him. The two of you just sit there for what feels like hours, but was probably just a few minutes. You think that he is asleep again, when his voice comes out in a shaky tone.

"I love him so much Katie."

"I know Logan."

"I…I just don't want to be hurt by him."

"You know that Kendall would never hurt you."

"Maybe not on purpose, but I know he will."

"I … I'm only like 11 Logan, so umm can you tell me what you mean by that? Because when I look at Kendall I don't think he could hurt you even if he wants to. He loves you too much."

"Sometimes I forget that you're younger then the rest of us Katie."

"You avoided the question."

"Damn you're good."

"Don't you forget it."

The two of you just sit there for a few more minutes. You know that Logan needs time, for whatever it is he is about to say.

"It's…It's just that I know that anyone else could make him happy. I'm nothing really special Katie. I know that he could be happy with Jo, or any other girl. Part of me just wants to end this before he can realize this and hurt me even more. Every day that I am with him I am happier then the day before. Everyday that I'm not with him is like I'm dying. I've never really felt this strongly about anyone in my life. Hell I've never felt this strongly about anything in my whole life. I'm…I'm just scared that…I'm just not good enough for him. I've…I've got to go"

The smart boy is up and off the bed and outta the room before you even realize what he is doing.

You jump off the bed and run to the living room to see the front door open. You think that maybe you should chase after him, but what would you even do once you find him? You're going to send him a text telling him to stop acting like a fool, but you realize that he ran outta the room so fast he left his phone behind.

You notice the time and you mumble that you really don't want to go to class.

By the time you have gotten yourself ready and are about to walk out of the door you see James and Carlos bust in, looking none too happy. You're going to ask them what is wrong, but thankfully Carlos lets it all out before you even have to ask.

"Do you even freaking believe Kendall?"

James just looks at you and then back at the Latino, before opening his mouth to talk, however Carlos does not let him get any words out.

"I mean he can't just dump that on us and then run away, that's just not cool dude."

Again James is going to respond, but you don't let him.

"What happened to my brother?"

The pretty boy just rolls his eyes and makes his way into the kitchen to grab some lunch, letting the shorter boy tell the story.

"So get this Katie, we get out of class and James and I were talking about going to eat at that place up the road that only sells corndogs, _they only sell corndogs! Corndogs Katie!_"

If this is the whole story you might just have to kill the older boy.

"That it?"

"What? No Katie, let me finish and don't interrupt. That's rude."

You shake your head and motion for him to continue, and you're pretty sure that you're going to kill him anyway.

"Anyway like I said James and I were talking about going to eat there, when we asked Kendall what he thought about it, and you know what he did? He freaking snapped at me! He went on and on about how that they're more important things in life, and some other stuff. The whole times James and I kept looking at each other like, 'Dude we were just asking you to get something to eat with us.' So then before he ran off, brace yourself for this Katie. _He said that he did not like corndogs anyway! He said that he did not like corndogs! Do you believe that Katie!"_

You don't even answer him. You just walk right past him and out the door. You hope that Kendall and Logan are some place talking, but you have your doubts.

You hate that you can't pay attention to class at all. You hate that you don't know what to do. You hate a lot of things, but right now you really hate that for the fist time in your life that you have no clue how to help your brother. Normally you would come up with some huge elaborate scheme to help, but you don't think that you can come up with something big enough to fix this.

After thinking about it for a few minutes, and running through all the harebrained ideas you can come up with. You know that you can't do this. You hate feeling helpless.

You run of class, you don't even stop to tell the girl off who says that it's not supposed to rain in California because people in California are to pretty for the rain, and you run outside to get across the pool and into the lobby trying desperately to stay dry from the rain that is pelting down all around you.

If you were feeling better you would laugh at the fact that it was raining. Of course it would rain on the day that Kendall and Logan are fighting. Then you remember that it's Logan and your brother that you're talking about here, so of course it's going to rain.

When you get inside you notice that no one is home, you see the note on the table that says Carlos and James went to grab a second lunch, and that your mom is out at an audition. You laugh, because your mom is taking this whole turning 40 thing amazingly. However your laugh quickly turns into a sigh, when you read that Kendall and Logan still have not come back yet, and to tell them to text mom and let her know what is going on.

You're assuming that means that Kendall and Logan have not told anyone where they are. You're also assuming that Kendall and Logan are even together. You really hope that Kendall found Logan and are just talking some place. However you have your doubts with that.

You try to keep yourself busy around the apartment, but your mind keeps going back to your brother.

You give it about two hours before you grab your coat and run to the roof. You're sure that you'll find at least one of them up there. When you reach the roof you just cuss under your breath because the roof is vacant. You think that you should just go back and wait, but then you remember that you're Katie freaking Knight and you don't wait around for anything.

You next try Camille's apartment. You know that Logan and her have become a lot closer since the break up. Again you are angry to find her dad the only one home. He tells you that she is with Jo at a spa for the rest of the day.

You quickly run through all the places that they might have gone. At this point you know that the two of them have to be together, and that scares you. You your brother is not good with words, and poor Logie is terrified that he is not good enough for that idiot of a brother of yours.

Before you are even aware you are out and running to the park. You're pretty sure that your mom is going to let you have it when she sees the mud stained shoes and jeans. Right now however you have bigger things to worry about.

The park is empty but you see a bike by the nature trail, you're sure that you've seen it around before but you can't remember where. You head off towards the trail, partly because you want to get a closer look at the bike and also because there is a little gazebo and you want to get dry for a second.

After you find your brother you're going to be sure to tell him that he is going to pay for your dry cleaning bill.

After catching your breath for a second, you hear yelling. You're off in the direction of the screaming before you even put your hood up. After all it's Kendall and Logan, they are worth catching a cold for.

When you round the corner you see the two of them. Your breath catches. It's hard to tell because of all of the rain, but you're pretty sure that the two of them have been crying nonstop. Your brother has his head resting on Logan's, who is clutching your brother for all he is worth. You really hope that you are not too late. You wish on every star out there that this were a make up hug, and not a hug good bye.

"God Logan I love you so much, I'm so sorry."

"I… I know Kendall."

"I don't deserve it, but can you please forgive me?"

"Already did."

You're not sure how they made up, or what this means for the two of them. You're pretty sure that you have about 100 more questions racing through your mind. You're not sure why they've been crying. You hope this is the last fight you have to ever see between the two of them. You can only smile at the sight of the two of them exchanging a simple kiss.

On the way here you kept running through how you were going to save the day. What you were going to say that would some how magically fix everything. You were pretty sure that yet again it would be up to you to save your brother from himself. You're Katie Knight and that's what you do. Your brother makes a fool of himself and then you run in and save everything.

It looks like though Kendall can handle this one on his own. You're surprised to say the least. This is Kendall Knight you are talking about here. The boy who still sleeps with a stuffed dog, and still gets excited when the new Pokémon games come out.

Then again it's Kendall and Logan, and really what can't the two of them handle?

You turn and walk away, and wonder if maybe Logan can be the one to save Kendall from now on. Because honestly you're getting kind of tired of it.

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><p><em>AN: Alright I hope liked the first post, and just to let everyone know updates will be every Saturday. _

_Also in case it was not really all that clear, this takes places in the fall of 2010. You will find out later the reasons for everything._

_Alright have a good one._


	2. All Those Signs, I Knew What They Meant

_Hey everyone, I'm back for chapter two of Lights Will Guide You Home (I'm going to start typing it as LWGYH from now on). Like the last one this is from Katie's POV, and I think this is a nice little rap up to chapter one. _

_I do want to take a minute to let everyone know that even though these first two chapters were in chronological order that does not necessarily mean that is how the rest of the series will go. For example, the next chapter is the first of James' interludes. It spans from the time he is a little kid and goes up until the time he is a freshman in high school. _

_I know you are probably asking why I'm doing it like this, but the only thing I'm going to tell you is that you'll understand in time._

_Also I would just like to think Squoctobird for being awesome and helping me edit this. For an English major I have awful grammar, so I know it's not an easy job :P_

_And of Course Ashley! We are going to live in Dallas and she is going to take me to all of the gay neighborhoods, and she has strap-ons and she calls me a bottom all the time._

_Oh and very special shout out to fucking Sarah and her smartass fucking mouth._

_All right I've talked enough, the title of this chapter is taken the Coldplay song 'Speed Of Sound'_

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><p>You have always loved your orange couch. It may give you a headache sometimes, but you still love it.<p>

It's the most comfortable couch you've ever had, and while you kind of dislike the fact that you can't sit in it after you eat a big meal because you risk falling asleep, you still love it.

You really like the fact that it is big enough for your brothers to all sit on it at once. You're not sure why, but that is definitely one of the reasons you love it. The main reason you love it though, is because it is orange.

You don't know a single person that would want a bright orange couch, yet alone own one. You've always loved your orange couch, until this very moment that is.

You've been seating on this darn thing for twenty odd minutes and every time you go to make a move to stand up, your damn brother shakes his head and somehow uses his eyebrows to point back down at the couch, telling you to stay put.

You're pretty sure that you know what he wants to talk to you about, and you understand that it is probably pretty hard for him, but at the same time you wish that he would just come out with it already.

You get it; he is gay and in a relationship with his best friend Logan Mitchell and they love each other. You don't understand what is so difficult about saying that.

Then you remember all that stuff about male pride and all that other macho guy crap that your idiot brother buys into and you sit back down on the couch and try and be as patient as you can. However, you're Katie Knight and patience is not one of the many virtues that you possess.

Ever since you stumbled upon your brother's relationship last week, you have not been happier. Sure, you wish you would have discovered it on a happier note, but the two of them had made up and have been walking around on cloud nine this past week.

You think maybe Logan is happy because someone knows about his relationship with your brother. Somehow, to him, it makes it seem more real. Like he is not dreaming and that he really is dating your brother. You can't see what makes your brother such a catch, but whatever makes Logan happy.

Your thoughts are disrupted when you hear your brother take in a breath, and look up at you. For a second it looks like he is going to finally talk until he quickly shuts his mouth again.

You almost want to just shout at the top of your lungs '_Big Brother I freaking know that you're gay! I know that you are in love with Logan and the two of you are dating! Please just tell me already, so I can go down to the pool!'_

Yet you don't. You know that this is something your brother needs to do on his own. No matter how much you want to be down at the pool.

You don't even realize that another fifteen minutes go by and your brother has done nothing except use his finger to draw a lot of geometric shapes on his leg. You chuckle to yourself because Logan is already rubbing off on your brother. Something your mother will be ecstatic about, you're sure.

You wonder why the thought of your mother finding out about Kendall and Logan does not freak you out at all. You think maybe you should be worried that your mother might freak out or something, but you know that she won't. In fact you kind of think that she is going to be excited.

It really is no secret to anybody that Logan has always been your mother's favorite out of your three other brothers. He always helps around the house; cleaning, cooking, yard work, the whole nine yards, and all that was before he lived with you.

The two of them would watch old re-runs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because, despite your dear mothers best efforts, she could not get you or your brother to ever take an interest in the show. So ever since that fateful day that Logan let it slip that he use to watch the show with his mother, the two of them watch anything and everything to do with vampires.

You love that sometimes Kendall has to whine and pout around to get the genius to stop hanging out with your mother. On days that the two of them are a few hours into a True Blood marathon and Kendall is extra huffy about not spending time with the shorter boy, you just remind him that it's better Logan hang out with mom, so neither of you have to sit through 'Interview With A Vampire' another time.

You also think that your mom already knows about your brother and Kendall. All the times that she would ask the two of them to run to the store. Or she would make sure to ask Kendall to invite Logan over to help watch you. Even though Kendall was plenty old enough to watch you on his own. You think that maybe your mother has known long before Kendall even knew. You love your mother.

Thoughts of your mother are interrupted when you hear a song start blasting from your brother's pocket. Once you recognize the sound of your brother's ring tone, you can't help but laugh. Really?

You watch his face turn bright red, when he realizes that you are laughing at him.

"It's only my ring tone when Logie calls. Lay off, alright?"

You only laugh in response.

You can't help but grin when your brother's face takes on a huge smile before answering his phone.

"Hey Logie, what's going on?"

You can't help but wonder if your brother's face has always lit up like that every time he had talked to the shorter boy and you just never noticed or maybe this is a new development. You take note of it and file it away in the part of your brain labeled, 'reasons Logan is the perfect person for your brother.'

"That's great. Can't wait to try some, and I'm sure mom will be happy she does not have to cook for once."

You are pretty sure that Logan is bringing home some kind dinner from Whole Foods, Logan's new favorite place to shop.

"Hey, Katie, Logan is going to bring home dinner, but is stopping to get some ice cream for dessert. What kind do you want?"

You just shake your head, before telling him you want pomegranate chip. (1)

Your brother quickly tells his boyfriend what you want, and you can't hide the smile you get when your brother ends the phone call by telling the brunet that he loves him and to get his sweet ass home soon.

Your brother puts his phone away, and smiles at you. You think that hearing Logan's voice has given your brother the strength he needed to come out to you. Yet when you meet your brother's gaze, he quickly breaks the contact and looks away from you.

You let out a heavy sigh, and go back to waiting.

Sometimes you wonder how your brother can go from fearless leader to scared insecure little boy so quickly. Again the need to just jump up and yell at him that you know starts to over take you, but because you are such a great sister you shove the thought out of your mind.

You start to count the number of plaid and flannel shirts that your brother owns. You are up to 23 when _finally _your brother opens his mouth to speak.

"Katie…I have to tell you something, and it's really not that easy for me to say…but I have to say this…so please be patient with me, as I try…try to make this come out right…. ok."

You think that you might seem a little bit too excited as you nod your head up and down rather quickly. You really don't care though, because your brother is about to finally tell you that he is gay, and in love with Logan.

You're not going to lie though, you are mostly excited for your brother to talk to you so you can finally get off the damn couch.

"So, yeah…. Katie…Logie…Logan told me that you really helped him out last week…when the two of us were fighting and I really, really want to thank you for that."

"Anytime, big bro. You know that I would do any thing for _you two_."

You hope the little emphasis you put on 'you two', drives home the point that you really are ok with everything, and he should have nothing to worry about.

"I know that, but I just wanted to say thank you. For being there when I was being an idiot."

"Again, anytime, big brother. It was no problem at all."

"I know. I know. But seriously, thank you."

You are starting to get annoyed.

"Again, no problem at all."

"I know. I know. But it just means a lot to me that someone else can help Logan if anything happened between us. God knows that James and Carlos are just about useless when it comes to anything emotional. Hell, they are pretty much useless when it comes to anything besides, girls and hockey."

You both laugh at the joke your brother makes.

You're really not laughing at them, because they would most likely agree with Kendall.

You remember one time James had a girlfriend who wanted to talk to him about what he meant to her, and the diva avoided her until she finally just texted him that they were over.

"So, what do you think?"

You don't even realize that your brother had said anything; you were too busy thinking about how ridiculous James and Carlos are. You can't help but think that they should be on a kids show on Disney or something.

You just take a shot in the dark and say you agree you hope that he was not asking a question.

"You're not just saying that, are you, Katie?"

"No, no not at all. I'm 110% ok with that notion."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, really big brother."

You take pride in the fact that he finally looks at ease around you, since he first found out that you know about his relationship.

You wish people would stop hugging you today, but you just wrap your arms around your brother when he leans over and squeezes you for all you're worth.

When you finally pull apart, Kendall stands ruffles your hair and heads to his room.

You let out a breath that you didn't know that you had been holding.

You can't help but shake your head at how invested you are in a relationship that is not even yours.

You wonder if you would be this involved if this was James or Carlos, or even if it was Logan with someone else.

You let your mind wonder and imagine what would have happened if you had overheard James and Logan fighting about a secret relationship.

Sure, you can admit that the two of them make a cute couple, the very idea of James with anyone but the person who stairs back at him when he looks in the mirror is just ridiculous to you though.

The idea of Carlos and Logan comes to your mind and you bust out laughing.

James and your brother come next and you just shudder. That's just too much height in one relationship for you. Plus, you're pretty sure Kendall would kill James if he had to wait two hours for the pretty boy to get ready every time he wanted to go anyplace.

You stop your mind from even going to the idea of Carlos and your brother.

The only person who you can see making your Latino brother happy is the corn dog vender down the road. Even at that you think they would have some major issues come time for the stand to close.

You hear Logan yell for help from the other side of the apartment door. You quickly get up and open to the door, just to have him load your arms with three big grocery bags before pushing past you to drop the five bags in his own arms on the table.

You mumble something about being a workhorse, before going to dump your bags down and help put away whatever health food crap your brother's lover brought home with him.

Speaking of the devil, in rushes bushy brows himself. Without even so much as a "hi." He runs over and grabs the brunet and pulls him into a kiss.

It takes all your willpower not to let out an "aww" at the sickly sweet sight in front of you.

You push past the two as you go put up some cans in the pantry.

The two pull apart, and in that second you kind of believe in just about anything.

The look in your brother's eyes as he rests his forehead against the shorter boy, makes you melt inside a little bit, even though you will refuse to admit it.

You mumble something about them going to a Lady Gaga concert to seal this whole big gay deal.

"Aww, can we go, Kendall? Please, seeing Mother Monster would be so much fun."

Kendall only says something along the lines of only going if Logan dresses up like a girl.

"Yup. Totally gay" is the only thing out of your mouth, before you are out of the apartment.

When you reach the lobby, you see Bitters putting up caution tape around the pool and putting up signs that say adult swim only for the rest of the night.

You make a bee line for the stairs and run up to the 2nd floor ready to give your idiot brother a piece of your mind for making you miss your chance to enjoy the pool by taking his sweet ass time in telling you that he was in love with Logan. A fact that you already actually knew, so you know, fuck him.

However, all of this anger just flies on out the window when you throw open the door to the apartment and storm in to find your brother on the couch with Logan curled up next to him watching last week's Glee.

You're pretty sure that they need to be the poster child for the "It Gets Better" movement or something.

It's not like you don't believe in love or anything, because you do, but sometimes you remember what your dad did to your family, it makes you want to start punching stuff.

However, when you look at your brother and Logan you think, maybe, just maybe, that crazy little thing called love not only exists, but is also everywhere the two of those losers are, threatening to cause the two of them to like float away or something because they basically look like the poster couple for same sex relationships or some shit.

You don't even realize that you've been staring at them until Logan throws a pillow at you.

When you snap out of it, you just look back at them being all perfect on the couch, and you can't even remember why you were mad in the first place.

When they both just keep on looking at you like you interrupted some special anniversary date or something, you can't think of anything to say.

You're Katie Knight, and you _always _have something to say.

You stand there until something comes to your mind and you shout the first thing that reaches your mouth.

"Kendall's ring tone when you call is that Nicki Minaj song, Your Love!"

It's just quite after.

No one is saying anything so you just make a run for your room and you don't breath until you have the door closed, locked and you're on your bed burying your head in your pillows.

You're Katie Knight and you can't remember the last time you were this embarrassed.

Despite the fact that you feel as red as a Red Hot you can't help but laugh when you hear the sounds of your brother serenading his better half to the tune of the ring tone you heard earlier in the day.

And, although you really can't stand the idea of being with anyone forever and for always, and the idea of marriage is like your kryptonite, you really can't wait to find that special someone who will serenade you with cheesy R&B songs.

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><p><em>I really like this chapter a lot, and I'm not really sure why. I think it was just really fun to write. The next update will be this time next week, so see you all then!<em>


	3. You Just Want Somebody Listening

_A/N: Hey Yall ... I know, I know I missed last week's update and I'm really sorry. Its about that time of the semester were I start to realize that I have finals in like two weeks and all of my free time goes to class work. Then work has been getting crazy because of all the sales going on and ugh, don't ever work in an electronics department. Then I had to go and buy Skyrim and yeah I'm a dork._

_Shout out to the awesome people who left reviews on the last chapter, and of course Squoctobird who is awesome, and she is going to meet Logan and yeah I may or may not hate BTR for not coming anyplace close to Ohio._

_Oh and Ashley ... I can't believe it's 2011 an you just now bought skinny jeans ... what I'm I going to do with you?_

_Ok now onto James 1st chapter._

_The title is taken from the Coldplay song Square One_

_This takes place basically from the time James is about 3 or 4 and goes up until about the time he is in the 9th or 10th grade._

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><p>You've have always gotten what you've wanted.<p>

It's not like you're a spoiled brat or anything. You don't throw hissy fits or temper tantrums. Your parents have just always given you what you needed.

When you're three, you really want a bike like the ones all the big kids have. So the next time you go to get your bike out of the garage, you find it gone and in its place is a big boy bike.

Then when you're 6, you really want your parents to stop fighting all the time. Less then a year later, your parents are separated and you really don't see them fight anymore. In fact, they are both really happy again.

So you're happy again.

You realize that your life style is different from everyone else's, when Kendall keeps saying that he wants the new Pokémon game (You've had the game since the week before it came out) so you just tell him to ask his mom to get it for him.

He just looks at you strange and punches you in the face, then runs home.

You're not even mad; you're just not sure what happened. You run home and tell your mom what happened. You know that in movies and television when people get punched that they cry, so you turn on the waterworks when you are retelling your mother what happened.

Your mother makes you a bowl of ice cream and you forget about everything with Kendall.

The next day Kendall comes up to you and apologizes and says he will never punch you in the face again, and he will try and make sure no one punches you again. You accept it, and then you let him borrow your Pokémon game and all is good.

You keep noticing that other people don't always get what they want as you grow up.

Sometimes you just don't understand why Carlos' parents won't let him have the marshmallow cereal in the morning. To you, it seems pretty simple.

If they love Carlos (And you're assuming they do, because duh, they are his parents) then they should want him to be happy. Carlos is happy when he gets to eat his marshmallow cereal in the mornings before school. So you really don't understand why they just don't let him eat what he wants?

You think that maybe you'll understand it more when you get older, but even then you're not sure.

Unlike everyone else in your group of friends, you can pinpoint the exact moment when you became aware of girls in a "like like" way.

You are in the 5th grade and Pam Macy** (1)** comes to school in a dress and you can't help but think of her as a Disney princess.

So at recess the two of you play bumper cars on the swings and when the teacher blows the whistle to signal everyone that it's time to come in, you just kiss her.

You're only like 9, but you hear people talk about fireworks and stuff and you're pretty sure you feel them.

Pam kicks you in the nuts and runs away screaming.

You think you're in love.

When Logan moves to town you're honestly too busy with Pam and hockey to even really notice him.

You also don't really notice how much Kendall notices him either.

By the end of 7th grade, Logan has become one of your group without you even realizing it.

You kind of think that Logan has this strange way of becoming really important to people without even trying.

In a little less then a year, he has become one of the most important people in all three of your lives.

He is the person who Carlos turns to when the Latino is having problems in school.

Kendall runs to him when he is having trouble with schemes, or needs help at his house.

Then there is you. You don't really have a lot of problems, so the two of you just spend a lot of time talking. Logan is really one of the first people you have met that is from a family like yours.

Sure his parents may still be together, but, like you, he sort of always just gets what he wants.

The two of you always have the nicest games, toys and clothes and you really just like that.

It's nice talking to another person about the latest video games without having to worry about hurting someone's feelings.

The way you see it, you and Logan fit together like a piece of a puzzle. And not just a simple 50 piece one, but like the big 500 ones that Logan likes to do with Kendall so much.

You know that Kendall hates puzzles just like you, but unlike you, Kendall will gladly help with one whenever Logan asks him to.

The few times that Logan has asked you, you just distract him by pulling out your Xbox and putting in _Halo_.

When you're both 15 Logan stops asking you to help with puzzles. You just think that it's Logan growing out of being such a nerd.

You don't realize until it's much too late that Kendall and Logan have never stopped doing those puzzles.

Your favorite show becomes _American Idol_ as soon as you see one episode.

You're pretty sure that Ryan Seacrest has the coolest fucking job ever.

He basically gets paid to talk and be good looking. Two things that you are freaking amazing at!

So when you start to tell people that you want to be on American Idol, you think that it is common sense that people just understand that you want to replace Ryan Seacrest.

Come to find out, not everyone is as smart as you are (Not even Logan gets it. Guess this means he is not as smart as he would like people to believe) and people just assume that you want to be a singer.

At first you correct people, but then people start to say that Ryan Seacrest is gay so you just let people keep assuming whatever they want.

Somehow it gets back to your mom that you want to be a singer, and she signs you up for singing lessons. Before you know it, your mom is talking about how your going to be a famous pop star that will be able to take care of her so she can stop selling this stupid cosmetic stuff and move to California with all the other beautiful people.

You like the sound of that.

From then on out, you've known what you want to do with the rest of your life.

You've been chasing after Pam for as long as you can remember, so when you're 14 and at one of Alex's parties everyone plays spin the bottle, you don't find it strange that Pam is all over you.

You notice that Pam's friend Amy keeps looking over at the two of you. You have eyes so you notice that Amy is a cutie, but Pam whispers something in your ear about being ready, and you can't really be blamed for your actions.

The first time its kind of scary.

You've seen enough O.C to know that you're supposed to take charge of everything, but Pam never lets you have the chance. She is ordering you around and saying something about some kind of pill, and you've never had sex ed, so you're really not sure of what to do. Plus Pam sounds like she knows what she is talking about, so you just go along with it.

It's over really fast and you think you're supposed to like cuddle or something, but Pam is getting dressed before you even have the chance to say anything.

"I think we are like…supposed to talk about stuff now" is what you finally spit out when she is putting her socks back on.

It sounds so pathetic, and God you wish you would have said anything else.

When she looks at you she just shakes her head.

She throws her shoes on and is just about out the door when she turns to you and says "This is not some episode of one of your teen shows from the 90's James. Life is not that easy"

She is long gone before you whisper a 'why not?' to yourself.

Pam stops talking to you after that, and you start to notice Amy more and more.

When you tell her that you want to take her out for ice cream, she jumps up and down with excitement.

When you go to pick her up, she tells you to come in and that she is almost ready.

You notice that no one is home.

You also notice that Amy looks really _hot. _However you think she might be a little too dressed up for a trip to the park and some ice cream.

You did not think that Amy was a slut, but you're also pretty sure the definition of a slut is someone who gives it up on the first date. (And the two of you never even leave her house, so you wonder if it even counts as a date) Not that you're complaining or anything, because Amy lets you take charge unlike Pam, and just sits with you after.

You leave thinking that maybe being a slut is not that bad?

Of course you tell everyone.

Pretty soon the whole school is talking about how you are the first kid in the grade to lose the big V card.

Of course you were pretty popular before, but now you are the freaking king of the school.

Carlos is just in awe of you when you tell him. He ends up just following you around and waiting on your hand and foot. At first it's pretty cool, but after awhile you start to miss your best friend who just liked to play Halo with you.

Logan mostly just talks about the actually act with you. He talks about what it felt like, what you think Amy or Pam was going through. You sort of realize that Logan is like the coolest/easiest person to talk to ever.

He does not come out and say it, but you're pretty sure that Kendall is almost disgusted with you.

He says a lot of things about being in love with someone before having sex with them, and that you can't just do that to people.

After you fail your science test, and Kendall just won't get off your back about the whole thing, and you really just can't deal with him.

"_Kendall, would you grow the fuck up! It was just fucking sex! It has little to do with feelings, and they knew what was going to happen! This is not a fucking television show! This is real life! Stop acting like a child and leave me the fuck alone!"_

Carlos and Logan just look at you with their mouths hanging open.

Kendall is gone and Logan is running after him in less than a second.

It bothers you that Logan runs after Kendall without even yelling at you.

It reminds you of this fight you heard your parents having a long time ago. Your mom was yelling at your dad about him not getting upset that she was out with her friend from her office or something.

Your dad said something like he understood, but mom just kept crying and saying that its not supposed to be like this, that he should care. If he was at least getting upset that meant that he cared for her a little. She said she could not live with someone who just understood her; she wanted to live with someone who loved her.

It's Friday when it happens, and you don't hear from Kendall or Logan all weekend.

When you go over to Logan's house his mom just tells you that he went with Kendall to his grandparents house all weekend.

You're pretty sure that Logan was supposed to spend all day Sunday helping you study for your math test on Monday.

You fail your test come Monday. And even though Logan keeps saying he is sorry and that he just forgot, you know that Logan remembers just about everything.

When its lunchtime, Kendall just acts like the whole thing never happened. You think it's pretty strange, but Logan just sends you a text saying 'Dad problems' and you take it for it was.

None of you even know what the deal is with Kendall and his daddy issues. Well almost none of you. Apparently Logan knows the whole story. You kind of think that Logan is the only exception to all of Kendall's rules. You're not even that upset because Logan is the exception to all your rules as well.

Everything just goes back to normal after that.

Until your mom's best friend John and his partner Adam come to town for a visit.

Logan is over at your place watching Family Guy when the two of you go down stairs to grab something to eat. You don't think it's a big deal when you see your mom and her friends at the bar drinking wine. You also don't think its strange that its almost 2 A.M and your mother is still not asleep.

Logan finds it strange though. He mumbles something about not finding Mrs. Knight up this late, and you get pissed for a second.

You stop to talk to everyone and then Logan says he is no longer hungry. You kind of forgot that you ever hungry in the first place.

Before the two of you can get out of the kitchen, your mom pulls up her phone and shows John and Adam the picture of the four of you after your last hockey game of the year.

You stop at the bottom of the steps to pick up your phone that slipped from your pocket and you hear John say something about being such a cute couple. Your mom says something about not being gay, but John just says he knows these types of things.

You really don't think anything of it until you wake up before Logan the next morning and you kind of just look at him while he sleeps.

Sure you are being a big creep, but you kind of agree with John, and you can't help but think that you and Logan would make a banging couple.

You're nervous and sweaty just thinking about it, but you're nervous because you're not freaked out at all by the fact that you totally just thought about being with Logan in more then a friend way. Instead of getting sick in your stomach, you're getting butterflies in there.

In the 20 minutes or so that you watch Logan before he wakes up, you just accept the fact that you and Logan will be the most epic couple ever. The both of you are really hot, so the two of you together would be like a celebrity couple or something.

Logan could totally come over and help you with your school work after your singing lessons, not that he doesn't do that already, but now some kind of kissing could be involved.

You could help him come out of his shell and stuff, and you can't really understand why you never thought about this before.

When he wakes up and gives you that adorable little smile and rubs the sleep out of his eyes and says good morning all quiet as he stretches out, you have but one thought: Logan Mitchell will be mine!

Your first mistake is not having a plan.

You kind of go in expecting Logan to just fall to your feet, and you try and do all the things you normally do when you want to impress a girl.

You spend a lot of time smiling around Logan; unfortunately for you, Logan just asks if you are using whitening strips.

When that does not work, you move on to Plan B. You talk about working out. You're halfway through your talk about how much you can bench press when you remember that Logan already knows all this. He is the one that setup your work out routine when he went on that fitness kick last year.

You've never had to go to Option C, but you're pretty confident that this one will have Logan in your arms in no time at all.

You talk about yourself any chance you get when around Logan. You talk about how you keep getting job offers to be model. How you volunteer at the animal shelter on the weekends. That you help out at your grandmother's nursing home three times a week. You basically just talk yourself up around Logan as much as you can. However, the major problem with this plan is that Logan is already your friend, so he knows that none of those things are true at all.

You are at the end of your fucking rope when finally you get a break; Ryan Trent is throwing a party.

The party is on Friday and that Monday you ask if Logan is going and he says that yes, him and Kendall and Carlos are going.

You're not really happy that Kendall and Carlos are going to be there, but whatever, you will still make Logan yours by the end of the party.

You ask Logan every day before he gets off the bus if he is still going, and everyday he rolls his eyes and just says yes he will be there.

For the first time in as long as you can remember you are totally gonna get what you want, and the only thing you want right now is one Logan Mitchell.

Everything is wonderful, until Friday morning that is.

You notice that Kendall is nowhere to be seen in the morning before homeroom, but you don't really think anything of it, well, that is until Logan comes into first period late.

Logan is never late.

You send him a text asking what is going, and he just responds by saying that he will talk to you after class.

When the bell rings you are over at his desk before he even has a chance to stand up and get out of his chair.

"Kendall is home sick."

You try not to show how angry this makes you.

"So? What does that have to do with why you were late?" You wonder if Logan can hear the jealousy in your voice.

"Kendall and his mom pick me up in the mornings."

The way he says it, likes it's the most obvious thing in the world, puts you right on edge and you have to push away a thought that you've been fighting for awhile.

You're not sure why, but instead of asking if Kendall is ok, or how he got sick, instead you ask.

"You're still coming the party tonight, right?"

Logan says nothing, but shake his head before pushing past you into the hallway.

You try and get Logan to go to the party all day long, but he just tells you that he won't have any fun if he is worried about Kendall all day.

You really don't mean to, but it just slips out.

"Why! Would you really skip the party if it were Carlos or I that was sick? What makes Kendall the big end all?"

He never answers your question, and yeah it bothers you a whole lot, because you already know the answer.

You send Logan one last 'you should come' text before you go to the party.

You're having a fun time with Carlos and dancing with some girls in the grade below you, but you can't help but think that you should be here with Logan.

You go into the kitchen to grab something to drink (and to get away from the girl who is totally being a stage 5 clinger).

You return to the party and start to dance with some girl you've never seen before, when you feel arms wrap around your waist. You turn around so fast that you almost knock over the stranger. You've never been as happy as you are right then, as you come face to face with Logan and that little half smile that you love so much.

You just hug the smaller boy until he squeaks out that you're crushing him.

"You came! What about Kendall? I thought you weren't coming? Did I change your mind? I'm sorry for being all over you today, but I just wanted you to come and have a good time. Is Kendall ok? Logan why are you here? Is Kendall here?"

The brunet just laughs at your onslaught of questions, before answering them.

"Yes, James, I came. Kendall is still sick. I was not going to come until Kendall told me too; he said he did not want me to miss out just because he was under the weather. Yes, you are one of the reasons I'm here. It's really ok. Don't even worry about it. I'm happy I'm here, now lets dance."

You can't even be mad at the fact that the shorter boy said that Kendall was the reason he was here. You're just happy that he's here.

You spend the whole night with the shorter boy. You never leave his side and you can't really remember the last time you've had this much fun.

You spend the whole night trying to make your move, but nothing works.

You're about to run out of plans when you hear Sarah Jones say something about spin the bottle in the basement. You quickly grab Logan's wrist and lead him to the basement to find the group and join the game.

Logan just rolls his eyes and says something about how he is happy Carlos' mom does not let him stay at parties late, other wise he would be all over every single girl here.

Luck must be on your side, because you and Logan are the only guys in the circle.

This means two things; The first is that you will most likely get to kiss a ton of girls, and the second one is that girls find all that boy on boy stuff super hot, so they should all be into it when you and Logan share your first kiss.

You think that all those weeks of getting nowhere with Logan was just a test, because Logan is the first one to spin, and sure enough it lands on you first.

He kind of just looks at you like he wants you to be the one to stop everything, but stopping it is the last thing on your mind.

You are vaguely aware of everyone else in the circle whispering to each other. You won't make the first move; you want Logan to be the one to break.

You're about to say something to Logan, when some girl whose name you can never remember shouts at the two of you to just kiss already.

You crawl over to the brunet who looks like he is about to cheat on his wife or something. You bring your hand behind his head and bring his face right up to yours and you just wait, because for the first time since you noticed you had feelings for Logan, you kind of realize just how this could mess up everything.

When Logan never closes the gap you lung forward capturing his lips with your own.

Nothing.

Logan does nothing.

You feel like your just kissing a mannequin or something. You pull away and Logan is all nervous and sweaty and laughing really loud.

You hear someone say awkward, and you could not agree more.

You're favorite brunet mumbles something about going to the restroom and he is gone.

You don't know were you went wrong. You did everything right, or at least you think you did. Again, you never had to work for something this hard in your whole life.

The more time you spend thinking about it, the more and more you get upset. After about an hour of Logan avoiding you, you come up with the answer to your problem.

Logan is scared, he is afraid of his newfound feelings for you. You don't know why you never realized this before. It totally explains everything!

You think that Kendall must know how Logan feels for you. Logan must have told him that he was feeling more then friend feelings for you and that's why the two of them are always together. Kendall must be helping him understand his feelings for you. It all makes perfect sense now.

You give Logan space the rest of the night until the party starts to wrap up.

You run into him outside as he is saying goodbye to someone from the AV Club.

"Hey Logan, can we talk?"

When he turns around really fast you notice his blush and you smile a little to yourself.

"S-sure James, what's up?"

"I just wanted to say sorry if I made you feel weird with the whole…ya know my lips on yours and stuff."

He looks at his feet in the most adorable way.

"Its ok, James. It was a little strange, but its nothing."

You block out the part about him saying it was strange.

"Well wanna hang tomorrow, Loges?"

He just smiles and scrunches up his nose.

"Loges?"

You smile and just rub the back of your neck.

"Yeah…sorry if you don't like it. I can come up with something else if you want."

"Nah, I don't really like nicknames, so maybe just stick with Logan, but yeah. Let's hang out tomorrow. Tonight was fun, but I'm gonna head home."

And with that he is off on his bike and on his way home.

You rush home and jump right into bed. If tonight can end, then it can be tomorrow and you can hang out with Logan all day long.

You don't even turn on snooze when your alarm goes off in the morning.

Mom is down stairs with biscuits and gravy from _Bob Evans_ and you think today is going to be amazing.

You can't help but sing as you get ready for your date with Logan, even though he is unaware of the fact that this is a date.

Since it's about Spring and it's not super freaking cold out, you plan to take Logan to go get ice cream and then for a walk, then back to your house.

Your mom is going to dinner with some friends, so you plan to be making out with Logan by 7 tonight.

You dress in your best blue button up, because Logan once said that he really liked you in blue, and a pair of black jeans because Logan once said blue and black go really well together or something like that.

You don't text or call Logan because you want it to be a surprise when you show up on his doorstep.

When you reach Logan's house and you knock on the door you feel like you are on Cloud Nine.

Mrs. Mitchell opens the door and you give her a stunning smile and ask if you can see Logan.

"Oh, James. I'm sorry but Logan is not home at the moment."

Alright. A minor set back, but no big deal.

"Well, when will he be back? We made plans to hang out today."

"He went to Kendall's place last night when he got back from the party."

You don't really believe her.

"But…. but Kendall is sick." You don't mean to, but your voice comes out all rushed and high pitched.

"Oh, I know. But when Logan came home last night, he just said that he wished Kendall could have been there. He said he really could not have any fun because he kept thinking about Kendall the whole night. I told him that Kendall would be better soon, but once Logan gets down and starts to feel bad, there is really only one thing that can make him feel better."

You wish she would stop talking because you already know what she is going to say.

"So I called up Jen and asked how Kendall was. She said that he kept talking about Logan and was wondering if he was having any fun without him. So I told her what Logan told me, and then I yelled for Logan. I was going to tell him that I would let him go over there, however, when I went up to his room, I found a note saying not to be mad, but he was going to Kendall's."

You want to throw up.

"So, I asked Jen to check and see if he was already there, so she went to Kendall's room and sure enough she said that the two of them were asleep in Kenny's bed with Anchorman playing on the T.V."

You can't believe it.

"Anyway, she called this morning and said that Kendall was feeling better so they were all going to the mall and then going to catch a movie. Logan will be gone pretty much all day. I'm sorry, James."

You don't even say anything but a small goodbye before all but running as fast as you can from the front porch.

How did Kendall beat you? You're like really good looking. How could anyone pick Kendall over you? You just don't understand how this could happen. You made sure to do everything right! What did Kendall ever do for Logan? You don't want to think about it, because you already know the answer to that last question.

You don't even think that Kendall is gay or even into Logan like you are. Life is not fair. You're supposed to be the one that ends up with Logan.

You're not even sure if Logan even likes you anymore, or if he ever even did. Looking back on everything, you're pretty sure that for Logan, it's only ever been Kendall. You never even stood a chance.

You don't know if Kendall can even return those feelings, but you hope he can.

You're pretty sure that you'll get over this whole Logan thing pretty quickly, or at least you hope you do.

As you sit in your bed you can only think about one thing, before you drift off to sleep.

How could Logan pick Kendall over you? You're much hotter than Kendall! You basically have the face of a Greek God! What does Kendall have that you don't?

Logan must have a thing for bushy eyebrows; there is no other possible explanation for him picking the blond over you.

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><p><em>AN: So anyone listen to the new album yet? It's really good, again some of the lyrics are a little ... but damn can those boys sing. _

_Anyway I never do this, but because I missed last weeks update if I get 6 reviews on this chapter I will try and update this again by the end of the weekend, sound good?_

_Also you guys should familiarize yourself with Ellie Goulding._


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